Is it only Tuesday?

While Mason is at school, Gracie asks for him! The second he gets in the car when we pick him up...I think she must think, "GAME ON!!" The eyes start cutting, the words start flying and the mommy starts saying, "Do you want me to pull over???"

Here is an excerpt from our ride home today:M: I'm going to draw our family on the window with my finger. Here's Mommy...here's Daddy...here's me...and here's Gracie.

G: Draw me, Bubba!!

M: I already DRAWED you!!

Mommy: DREW...it's 'I already DREW you'.

G: (with the meanest look on her face and the biggest hollar you've heard): DREW YOU BUBBA!!!!

The look on her face said, "yep, I won that conversation!" Such a woman :)

By your side...always, no matter what!!

September 7th and 8th will never be 'normal' days for me. Three years ago today, I lost my mom. I can't believe it's been that long. Parts of that day seem like yesterday, and yet it feels like eternity since we last talked, shared a hug, had a huge belly laugh or gave each other our infamous high five (we always missed on purpose!!).

6 years ago, when I found myself facing one of the biggest challenges I've faced, we sat in the car together at Las Colinas Medical Center and she played a song for me. She said it was our song and that it described exactly how she felt about me. She said that she would be by side...always, no matter what!! I love to listen to it when I miss her most - she is still a huge part of my life - I still count on her...and I know she is still there for me.

Grace and Peace

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

You know me. I'm the anxious one. I'm the one who constantly worries and has a list longer than long of 'what ifs'. I create my own stress. I tend to make a mental list of the negative things that 'could' happen rather than focusing on all of the positive things that surround me. I know this about me and I have struggled with it as long as I can remember.

I'm ready to make a change. I think I've made small progress here and there, but I need to make bigger change. I've struggled with worry, stress and indecisiveness for a long time...and I think a little bit of that comes from the way my mind is wired. I consider myself a very blessed individual, but I allow my thoughts to wander to the unknown, the questions, the decisions that haven't been made.

This week was monumental for me. I made a tough decision...but looking back on the day, it wasn't a tough decision at all. I made it tough because I didn't listen to what my heart said, I didn't pay attention to the signs that my prayers were being answered or that my path was being paved...I didn't have faith. Wow...what a big statement!! And yet sometimes I think we all find ourselves, whether it be during our most difficult times or just the minute choices of the day, stuck in a whirlwind of all kinds of madness: what if something bad happens, what will people think of me, I need to do what everyone else is doing. We should look to our faith and surround ouselves with the people who love us. (Thank you so much to my hubby, my dad, and my awesome friends for your advice, encouragment and support!!)

I had enrolled G in preschool, but I struggled all summer long - I knew she should be home with me...she's 2!! I attended orientation and completely lost it. I'm not ready, she's still so young, we are connected on a level that can't be put on paper, I don't want to miss anything, etc. The thoughts were constantly there and yet I tried to ignore them in an effort to conform to the 'Flower Mound norm'. Yesterday, I gave it to God and I was assured that my path is far from what's considered normal around here. Grace and I are so blessed to have this time together and I don't want to look back for a second and regret giving any of it away...not even 8 hours a week.

I owe a lot to my children. They have grounded me. They give me strength. They force me to make decisions based on solidity. They drive me. I do have weakness when it comes to anxiety and stress, but they give me reasons to work at it...yes, motherhood suits me just fine - and there's nothing like a little Grace and Peace!!

I don't get an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment very often (another idiosyncrasy that has been lended to me by the 'worried walrus'), but man do I have it today!! My baby doesn't have to go to preschool! I look forward to this year...it will be filled with the simple things that make having a 2 year-old daughter so special...holding hands, playing kitchen, watching butterflies, sharing makeup, ballet, giggling...the list goes on. I will be her teacher. We will continue to socialize and learn shapes, colors and numbers as we watch the world around us...together!!

"You are worried about seeing her spend her early years doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play and run all day long? Never in her life will she be so busy again." Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 1762

I love you my little one!!

I'm playing for the GOLD!!!

I love Michael Phelps and I've been routing for him every opportunity I get. Mike and I stayed up until midnight several times just to watch him swim!! I love the olympic games and I think he is beyond awesome!! But here's my deal...I think motherhood should be right up there with olympic sports!! I mean seriously, the whole world has come to a halt to watch as men and women bring in the medals, beating their bodies up for first place!!

I'm playing for the GOLD too! I want to be the best mother I can for Mason and Gracie! I practice hard!! I know sometimes you feel like you want to quit the sport (like that's even an option...haha!). I know you may feel like your hard work is not noticed. I know that you are exhausted at the end of the day. I know that after you've put your children to bed at night, you sometimes feel like you've just finished the New York City Marathon!! I know these things because I feel them too!

So, here's to all of my mommy friends...I appreciate you for your hard work and dedication! I notice your efforts and I think all of you are champions!! Our jobs are tough ones...keep your eye on the prize - because at the end of our big race, we will have something much bigger and better than a gold medal!!

Time flies...

It really does seem like yesterday when I was carrying around a little short and stubby baby boy! I can remember thinking, "WOA, this kid is going to be a big ball of energy!" (AND HE IS!!) When Mason was 2-ish, I remember saying, "uh-oh, I think he has my ocd/anxious tendencies!" (AND HE STILL DOES!) I knew he was an old soul, full of sensitivity and kindness (AND HE STILL IS!). We knew very early that he would LOVE to play all kinds of sports (HE DOES...our hint: first word was ball...haha!) and I knew that I felt a kind of love that was like nothing I had ever felt before (and it just keeps getting STRONGER!!) I can't believe how much Mason has grown and I can't believe he is about to start kindergarten! While it makes me somewhat sad, I can't wait for him to experience the world that is waiting for him - I know he will shine!!

And it really wasn't that long ago that I was by the side of the most determined, strong-willed baby girl I had ever met! What a fighter!! There was a point there at the beginning when I wasn't absolutely sure she would make it through, but the older she gets, the more I understand how she did it! She has so much determination...she sparkles with life!! From the get go, I remember thinking, "YIKES, this girl is demanding!!!" (YEP, SHE STILL IS!) I remember thinking, "daddy is in trouble - she already knows how to work those big eyes!" (AND OVER HER TWO YEARS, SHE HAS PERFECTED THE POUTY EYES AND LIPS!) I remember thinking, "do I have enough love for another child"? (YEP, MY CUP RUNNETH OVER and I have such a bond with Gracie - my heart is so full of love and gratitude for her!!) She reminds us everyday that life is full of miracles and that we should embrace every moment!!

Our job is to be the parent and yet we have learned so much from our children!! I look at these pictures and get so choked up because I can't believe how much time has gone by! Where did it go??? Gracie is not a baby anymore! She is a beautiful little girl with so much to give to this world!! And my Mason is not a toddler! He is a young man with such a BIG heart!! I am the luckiest mommy ever!!!

These pictures were taken by a good friend of mine...didn't she do a good job?? She has captured my children in a way that I cannot describe! They are priceless pictures!!! I haven't seen all of the proofs yet, but these make my heart melt! She has taken our pictures before for our Christmas cards and always does a great job, but these are definitely my favorite!!

Natalie, thank you so much for helping me make time stand still (if even just for a second)!!!

Happiness is...

WOA...it's been a whirlwind the past couple of weeks (see pictures) as we get ready for summer! Mason has one week of school and he is done with baseball, soccer and karate. We are looking forward to swim lessons, Vacation Bible School, bug camp and our annual trip to Cape Cod. I'm not sure things are really going to slow down, but I am going to try really hard to RELAX with no stress and no worries! (yep, I'll let you now how that goes...haha!) We really do have so much to be happy about!!!

HAPPINESS IS...

a family collage (and a finished project!!)
matching flip flops (Mason LOVES that his shoes match daddy's!!)
a school field trip to the zoo (and some Mason/Mommy time!)
homemade blueberry pancakes on a Sunday morning

a chocolate popsicle on a HOT day:

a well-deserved soccer trophy:

new CANDLES (Gracie corrects us if we say SANDALS!

Have I ever told you how much she loves shoes!!!):

fresh fruit from Central Market

(Mason gets a big kick out of weighing our produce and printing the stickers!):

AND...buying yourself flowers! (If you've never done it, I highly recommend it!!):

I hope you have a HAPPY day!!

My Gracie Grace!!

"Spending time with children brings a sense of balance to our lives. It reminds us that the best things in life aren't things."
Author Unknown

Where has the time gone?

I stayed up late to move some pictures from the camera to the computer...and I'm just sitting here completely amazed at how quickly two years have gone by. Right about this time two years ago, I was laying in a hospital bed anticipating the arrival of someone who would immediately restore my soul, my faith and my gratitude for life! And it will be many years from now that Grace will be able to really understand that she was "my saving grace". Many people say, "oh, what a sweet name" without really understanding Grace's story. When I lost my mom in my 3rd month of pregnancy I had a lot of questions for the Man upstairs. The day I found out our second child was a girl, I left the doctor's office knowing deep down that this baby was God's way of helping me carry on. He took the most important woman in my life while another one was already on her way!! I miss my mom so much...especially on the birthdays of my children. She would have had such a great time with Grace singing her ever infamous birthday song. I'm so blessed though...I still have a mother/daughter relationship - I just have a new role and I had a great teacher!! And don't you know I'm geared up to bust out with the special birthday song as soon as Grace wakes up!! I know that my mom is looking down with great pride - I hope she knows how much strength she continues to gives me!!

Tomorrow we will celebrate a little soul who has already done big things. My baby Grace, you are truly an angel...may you always know how very much I love you. And may you always smile from the inside out (I'm loving that your smile always lights up your entire face!!).