First Day of Kindergarten!!

Mason started Kindergarten this week...can you believe it??? I can't!! I just stood there and watched with amazement as he strolled into the classroom like a seasoned college student. He was so full of confidence and I was so full of...every emotion possible. I was so proud of him...not only did he tackle the first day of school with anticipation and excitement, but he also helped out a buddy who was not as thrilled. He took him by the hand and said, "don't worry...I'll be your friend." GREATNESS!! I was somewhat sad to see him walk away, and yet I know he is more than ready!! He is one smart cookie!! And I was anxious (yeah, I know I said I was going to try harder!!)...because I recalled the memory of my younger days...walking into a place that's not as comfortable as standing by mom and dad's side. And of course I couldn't help but feel excited with him!! He woke up this morning and asked, "am I a big shot?" You sure are my little kindergartener!!

Dear M: I will always be here for you!! You have already taught me so very much in your 5.75 years...it's your turn to broaden that great mind of yours...I know you will do great things!! My cup runs over like noboy's business!!

Grace and Peace

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

You know me. I'm the anxious one. I'm the one who constantly worries and has a list longer than long of 'what ifs'. I create my own stress. I tend to make a mental list of the negative things that 'could' happen rather than focusing on all of the positive things that surround me. I know this about me and I have struggled with it as long as I can remember.

I'm ready to make a change. I think I've made small progress here and there, but I need to make bigger change. I've struggled with worry, stress and indecisiveness for a long time...and I think a little bit of that comes from the way my mind is wired. I consider myself a very blessed individual, but I allow my thoughts to wander to the unknown, the questions, the decisions that haven't been made.

This week was monumental for me. I made a tough decision...but looking back on the day, it wasn't a tough decision at all. I made it tough because I didn't listen to what my heart said, I didn't pay attention to the signs that my prayers were being answered or that my path was being paved...I didn't have faith. Wow...what a big statement!! And yet sometimes I think we all find ourselves, whether it be during our most difficult times or just the minute choices of the day, stuck in a whirlwind of all kinds of madness: what if something bad happens, what will people think of me, I need to do what everyone else is doing. We should look to our faith and surround ouselves with the people who love us. (Thank you so much to my hubby, my dad, and my awesome friends for your advice, encouragment and support!!)

I had enrolled G in preschool, but I struggled all summer long - I knew she should be home with me...she's 2!! I attended orientation and completely lost it. I'm not ready, she's still so young, we are connected on a level that can't be put on paper, I don't want to miss anything, etc. The thoughts were constantly there and yet I tried to ignore them in an effort to conform to the 'Flower Mound norm'. Yesterday, I gave it to God and I was assured that my path is far from what's considered normal around here. Grace and I are so blessed to have this time together and I don't want to look back for a second and regret giving any of it away...not even 8 hours a week.

I owe a lot to my children. They have grounded me. They give me strength. They force me to make decisions based on solidity. They drive me. I do have weakness when it comes to anxiety and stress, but they give me reasons to work at it...yes, motherhood suits me just fine - and there's nothing like a little Grace and Peace!!

I don't get an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment very often (another idiosyncrasy that has been lended to me by the 'worried walrus'), but man do I have it today!! My baby doesn't have to go to preschool! I look forward to this year...it will be filled with the simple things that make having a 2 year-old daughter so special...holding hands, playing kitchen, watching butterflies, sharing makeup, ballet, giggling...the list goes on. I will be her teacher. We will continue to socialize and learn shapes, colors and numbers as we watch the world around us...together!!

"You are worried about seeing her spend her early years doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play and run all day long? Never in her life will she be so busy again." Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 1762

I love you my little one!!

Kids Kastle

Mason's class went to Kids Kastle in Highland Village today. He thought it was cool to have chapel outside and he had a great time playing with his friends. Grace and I had fun too!!